Kinds of Sadness

I have always thought, as a kid, that tears come running down from your eyes because your parents won’t buy you toys, candies, chocolates and other goodies we’ve always desired when we were young.

But as I grow older, I have realized that that there’s a lot more reasons why you cry. When I was in grade school, I used to cry my eyes out because I failed in some of my exams. What I did not know was that it was only just a taste of what sadness has to give.

Now, at this age, I think I’ve experienced the worse kind of sadness I have had in my life so far. Do you know how hard it is to desire for someone out of your reach? I long for his warm hugs and delicate kisses every single day. I keep on picturing us walking with our intertwined fingers at the park. I keep on imagining the adventures we would have if we were actually together. But then again, these are only silly things that my minds have produced. Isn’t that depressing? All these lovely and cheesy writings yet I don’t even have you. And I think this is the worse kind of sadness, you write the things you long for because you know you can’t have them. 

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The Painter

There stood a painter, staring at the blank canvas in front.
He was in a state of being confused; not knowing what to do.
He tried to kiss his canvas with his brush but sadly;
It never reached it.

He grabbed his sketchbook and started to draw figures,
But all of them were crossed out later.
He used to be a good painter; and it fathoms him why he cannot paint an artwork now.
He shook his head while putting down his pen and started to sip his coffee.

Upon tasting the familiar caffeine on his tongue,
He suddenly grabbed his paintbrush and started to paint in different strokes.
He was so glued to painting,
That he cannot even let his eyes off the canvas.

After some hours,he putted down his brush.
He wiped his forehead, leaving some paint on it.
As he eyed the painting in front of him, a thought popped out in his mind.
Maybe the reason why it took him so long to paint is that he was not just going to paint an artwork, but a masterpiece.

My Star

Have you ever seen a mesmerizing star during the night?
A star, when in the dark, gives you light.
I too have my eye on a certain star here on Earth,
A star that is so unblemished; that I consider him as a work of art.

He glows wherever he goes, giving me hope in everything.
He is the kind of star that you would never get tired of admiring.
I have always desired to hold out to him, but I am afraid.
For maybe once that I reach him, I will find out that his love for me has always been dead.

Why Romantic Movies were Made

Romantic movies were made for the outgoing girl who got her heart broken by a jock, to let her know that all jocks are not the same, she just met the wrong one.

Romantic movies were made for the naive girl who fell for the player’s charm, to let her know that some players do actually catch the girl when she falls.

Romantic movies were made for the shy girl who got dumped by the popular guy in school, to let her know that an average girl and the king of school could actually be together.

Romantic movies were made were made for the talkative girl who got shut down by the guy who has a cold heart, to let her know that even the most unfeeling guy can open up to you.

Romantic movies were made for the cheery girl who got rejected by the bad boy, to let her know that there are still bad boys who can soften their hearts for a girl they love.

Romantic movies were surely made for me.

 

Nothing Compared to Her

Pretty top, cute sweater, designer jeans, expensive sneakers. I always carefully pick my outfit, I always pick the outfit that would look pretty on me. It is so stressful and frustrating since it would be the first time that I would actually pick which outfit is the nicest. Yes, I never cared about what people would say about me before. I would just wear whatever I see in my closet. But as time went by, I started to desire to look better. So what I did was I always picked the outfit that I think you would appreciate and maybe, just maybe, would think I’m pretty.



My classmates seem to notice that I exert effort in my clothes. They would compliment my top, sweater, shoes and so on. But not once did I hear from you. Of course I was flattered with their compliments, I was joyous. But to think that the person for my reason why I was wearing those clothes didn’t even tell me anything about it, I was heartbroken.



Nevertheless, I didn’t weigh it in my heart that much. I then start to think that maybe if I study well enough, you’d notice me. The night before class, I would always read in advance. I would print articles that I think would help in understanding the lessons. My classmates would always ask me to explain to them the lessons, and I was happy to. But then again, not once did you ask for my help. I see you asking help from others, but never from me.

But one night, you told me that you like this girl, and guess what? You like her for three years now. And when I found out about that,that’s when I knew that I was nothing compared to her.

The questions swirling in my head finally got their answers. Why did you never compliment me? It was because for you, she was the prettiest. Why did you never asked me for help? It was because you knew that I liked you and it would give me false hope if you did. Why did you never see me? It was because you only had eyes for her.

Grateful for Unkind Ways

Don’t miss out on the gifts that come from facing the people who challenge you, even in an unkind way.

Thank you for telling me that I don’t read the Bible enough. Thank you for saying that I don’t listen to our class. Thank you for scolding me for having a fickle heart. Thank you for all the lessons you’ve given me. You may not have taught them in the nicest way, but I’m still grateful.

Thank you for telling me that I don’t read the Bible enough, for now I am revisiting my faith by reading not only the Bible but books that would nourish my faith. Thank you for your words, for now, I am closer to God than before.

Thank you for saying to me that I don’t listen to class, for now I am reading articles and books on how to listen to class more effectively. Not only that, but I started to watch videos related to the class you told me about. Now, I am learning a lot more. Thank you for your words, for now, I am no longer studying for grades, but for understanding.

Thank you for scolding me for having a fickle heart, for now I am only focused on admiring one person. Thank you for your words, for now, I am only focused on loving myself.

I am even thankful that you rejected me, for now I am doing my best to find myself and what I am worthy of. I am doing my best to find true happiness. Again, thank you for rejecting me- Thank you for letting me be happy, even without you.